Can get a heat gun from most places that sell paint. I did the heat gun trick and it lasted a short time then faded out blotchy. A few months ago I used Fusion paint in the can and have been wheeling twice and been through a few car washes and the flares still look new.
Just to the right of the square that the latch goes into there is a screw with a rubber washer. Just add 1 or two steel washers between the rubber one and the bumper and no more rattles.
Mine were stuck as well. I ended up bracing a small hydralic jack under the pin the nut goes on and just lifted them up. Once they break free they will come out. Then I applied small amount of grease on them before reinstalling. Now I just swing them back and forth and they raise right out.
The swaybar is not there to keep you going straight down the road. Your problem is alignment, castor and camber settings. They need to be redone after installing a lift.